Boxing Is The Best Behaved Sport!

Strange feeling, isn’t it?

Our beloved red light district of sport, our shared addiction, the savage science, is looking like a haven for angels and saints compared to MMA, pro baseball, football and basketball.

OK, maybe I’m overstating the saintliness of the folks populating our sport, but you get my drift.

The taint of Barry Bonds’ ill gotten gains, if you believe leaked grand jury statements, and your own eyes, has dragged baseball deeper into the gutter with the other superstar accused and confirmed cheats, like McGwire and Sosa and Palmeiro and etc etc etc. MLB equals Mom, apple pie, and illegal performance enhancing, testicle de-enhancing substances these days. It makes you wish for the “good old days” when Dock Ellis threw the no-hitter tripping his tail off on LSD, and many of the boys were hopped up on greenies. At least they all looked normal, not like puffed up powerlifters.

How about Michael Vick’s hobby, dogfighting if you believe prosecutors who want to toss the Falcons QB in the clink to ponder if he really thinks it’s OK to train canines to maul each other as he and his pals watch, drain brews and bet on the outcome? Vick’s legal beef is a PR nightmare for the NFL, which has been suspending wilding athletes hand over fist. Lordy, where have all the role models gone? Oh, you think maybe we shouldn’t have been lionizing all these kids with money and good genes (and good “strength and conditioning coaches”), and maybe should admire their sporting prowess, but leave the adoration to folks who are philanthropic, and altruistic, and serve someone other than themselves?

The NBA is trying desperately to spin their scandal, in which a ref stands accused of altering the outcome of games he reffed to impact his bets, or curry favor with bookies who he owes. The NBA’s product is under scrutiny, as fans now wonder whether that moronic call that decides the outcome of a contest has been made merely because a ref is a dope, or is on the take. On the bright side, many of their players aren’t shooting people in clubs, or getting busted for doping. Hey, c’mon cynics, you really think that all these leagues aren’t interested in cleaning up the problem, as long as the doping is under the rug, and revenues are solid? You think that superstars get the nod ‘n wink heads up before testing time, do you? That’s cynical! Or is it savvy?

MMAers are getting busted for doping faster than Lindsay Lohan, and UFC president Dana White is on the defensive reacting to the epidemic of steroid usage. Did steroids turn Sean Sherk’s head into a Teflon coated coconut, because the dude took about four full-on knees from his opponent in his last match (who, gasp, also tested dirty), and he barely flinched? UFC’s Bruce Buffer should hold off on announcing results after a bout until we get confirmation that the urine is clean. “After three rounds, and a clean urine test, your winner is……..!”

I think the hockey players have been minding their Ps and Qs, but since hockey gets less coverage than boxing, I’m not certain…

Bottom line, all you devotees of the other sports, now you get to try on our shoes for a spell. How do they fit?

Oh, and all those corporations that won’t touch boxing with a 10-foot pole because of the sport’s “bad reputation,” you may want to reassess your stand. Anheuser-Busch dumps a bundle into MLB, but won’t touch boxing. Hey, at least we admit to what we are, and what we aren’t. Anyway, welcome to the club, other tainted sports. Excuse me if I chuckle and don’t bestow a great deal of sympathy on your “plight.” Maybe now, instead of looking down at us and our sport, society will comprehend that the whole professional sports sphere is awash in cheating and populated with too many out-of-control, outrageously entitled sociopaths with too much money and too little brainpower.