Tyson Admits He Used Coke, Drank Booze For Breakfast

And to think I seriously thought he’d be heading off to do missionary work after his ring career ended…

Yikes, what a rube I am…

Thanks to the enterprising folks at the Smoking Gun, the website devoted to ferreting out sensitive materials wasting away in the file cabinets of law enforcement offices, we know have a better understanding how Mike Tyson spends his days. Hint: he’s not proselytizing natives, as he mentioned he might like to do after being sent into Hammockville by Kevin McBride in 2005. Well, he does talk up the benefits of Zoloft, so in a sense I guess he’s proselytizing on behalf of Pfizer…

Tyson was snagged by Johnny Law last week in Scottsdale, Arizona for DUI and possession of a powdered substance. The Brooklyn-born boxer, who’d been back in the news as he embarked on an exhibition tour of the world, was taken in to police custody by Buckeye police. Officer JR McKnight sat down with Tyson and quizzed him about his behavior, and got all Enquirer reporter on him, delving into his habits and tastes, according to the incident report obtained by The Smoking Gun (TheSmokingGun.com).

Some highlights (no pun intended) of the Q and A, which was held in the Mesa Police Department’s DUI Mobile Command Unit:

***Tyson got the interview off to a curious start when he flashed the peace sign at those present, and then informed them that if you turn the peace sign around, in Ireland, you are giving the “eff you” sign. McKnight didn’t say in the report how he and others reacted to this little factoid. My guess is there was a chorus of, “Oh, very interesting.” And all the cops reached, very subtly, for their pepper spray, just in case the fighter was set to snap…

***McKnight asked Tyson prepared questions from the department’s Influence Evaluation Supplement, so he wasn’t just riffing away, freelancing. He asked Tyson what meds he used, and Tyson answered “Zoloft, marijuana and cocaine.” Chatty Mike told the cops that he took his antidepressant earlier in the day, and also sparked up two joints earlier as well. He certainly scored points for forthcomingness, and perhaps set himself up for an endorsement deal down the line with Pfizer when/if he cleans his act up.

***McKnight, in what I have to suspect is a departure from the Supplement, asked Tyson if he rolled his own. No, Tyson said, he can’t roll his own, so he has a flunky do it for him. This tidbit makes you want more details—is Tyson too uncoordinated to roll his own, or does he find the act beneath him? I recall back in the day when I used to roll my own “tobacco products” that I practiced the art endlessly, until I got the process down pat. Does this indicate that Tyson doesn’t have the old work ethic any more, that he no longer strives to be the best he can be? Oh wait, we already knew that to be the case. Hey, I guess if you got a posse, you may as well put them to use…

***Tyson told McKnight he had used blow the day before and admitted he’s a fiend for the stuff, that he uses it “whenever I get my hands on it.” Tyson then admitted that he’d used “Go Dust” that very day, at “8 or 9 AM.” This sequence certainly qualifies as a blatant cry for help, doesn’t it? There was no BSing by Tyson, no rationalization, or denying frequent usage. He’s telling the cop that he’s a hunter/collector of the powder, in no uncertain terms. For Tyson fans, those who hold out hope that he’s still a candidate for redemption, this is good news. Seems like he’s tired of the substance abuse process, and may be willing to clean up his act. Or has he heard that Britney is in rehab, and he just wants to make her acquaintance?

***Tyson admitted he sometimes goes overboard on the Zoloft, that without the antidepressant he tends to go off. Without the Big Z, he said, “I am [effed] up,” he said.  McKnight tells him he doesn’t look screwed up and Tyson says, trust me, I’m a mess. I’m thinking that the two were on different pages of the same chapter here. I think Tyson was talking “[effed] up” in mental terms, while McKnight was thinking in physical terms. On a bright note, you’ll be happy to know, Tyson says he’s not into meth. Thank God for small miracles…

***Is McKnight freelancing again when he asks Tyson what brand of smokes he uses? Would there be any viable reason for the law to know if he prefers Winstons or Camels? Any cop/fans on TSS who can clue us in? Anyway, Tyson fans, you should know Mike smokes Marlboros. Then Tyson volunteered that he likes to put a little coke bump into his smoke and blaze it. McKnight asks for a visual and Tyson complies. Again, curious. Is McKnight looking for party tips for himself? Why does it matter how Tyson does it?

***We then learn then Mike was a patron at the Pussycat Lounge in Scottsdale. Off topic, is there a Pussycat Lounge in every red light district in the nation? Tyson didn’t booze at the club but did say he did the same morning at his residence. That’s not a good sign, Tyson fans. If you are starting the day with not Wheaties, but an alcohol-based product, I think it’s fair to say some 12-Step time has to be on your list of New Year resolutions. NOT the breakfast of champions.

***Tyson then told the cops, when asked if all the self medicating affected his driving, that “I cannot drive.” He does own a license, he said. Not sure about this item. Tyson was stopped after he ran a stop sign and his car almost hit a sheriff’s vehicle. Did he mean that he doesn’t drive well, that he needs some remedial adult driver’s ed class-time?

***Tyson told cops that he wasn’t feeling “good” when he was driving, that he used stuff earlier in the day, but not near the time when he was pulled over. That statement may be looked at with skepticism by the powers that will determine his fight, as the police stated that Tyson was seen trying to wipe some powdered substance off his console when stopped. Maybe we should give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe he was merely embarrassed that he’d dripped some ketchup on the console while scarfing a burger earlier? No? Not plausible? Maybe the powder was from a powdered donut he was eating a few days ago for breakfast, on a day he wasn’t drinking booze for breakfast? No? Not plausible? Lord, I couldn’t be a defense attorney for a living…

****McKnight then thanked Tyson for not going ballistic and biting his ear off, and told him he was a pretty good guy. He then got all goopy on Tyson, and shared that in his town, people sometimes gave him crap. Tyson and McKnight bonded, with Tyson complaining that people busted his chops all the time when he was out and about. This part gave me a stomachache. McKnight says he then stopped the tape and Tyson completed the booking process. Do you think perhaps McKnight asked for an autograph and asked a buddy to take a camera phone pic so he could show his buddies that he met a famous dude.

Word is that local prosecutors want to toss Tyson in jail for a spell, as they think he’s received enough second chances, and deserves to serve time as a repeat offender. May I suggest that Officer McKnight might like to serve as his cellmate if and when that time comes, as he seems to have a bit of a crush on Tyson.

Seriously, we’re all in resolution mode this week. More gym memberships are being sold this week than the rest of the year combined. Everyone’s ordering turkey on wheat, mustard, hold the mayo for lunch. Perhaps this bust is just what Tyson needed to have a happier, more productive life than he’s lead while trying to figure out what the hell he’ll do with the rest of his life. Maybe Mike and Britney can hook up (not like that) and be 12-Step meeting buddies, acting as each others’ spine as they work on tossing the 900 Pound Gorilla of substance abuse off their backs. We’ll know that’s the case if Evander comes out and say that Tyson paid him a visit, wanting to make amends for the ear chomp in 1997.