Connect with us

Featured Articles

The Official 24/7 Pacquiao-Marquez Drinking Game…RASKIN

Published

on

Give your keys to Lloyd Dobler, boxing fans, because it’s time to get rosy-cheeked and full-bladdered with another edition of the 24/7 Drinking Game. The Manny Pacquiao-Juan Manuel Marquez III version of HBO’s reality-series-slash-promotional-vehicle kicked off on Saturday night, and while the once universally acclaimed show now seems to draw as many boos as cheers, one thing remains true: 24/7 always goes down smoother with booze and “Cheers!”

(For the record, I enjoyed this weekend’s premiere episode of 24/7 Pacquiao-Marquez, but based upon the comments made by boxing folks I follow on Twitter and the comments that those folks re-tweeted, I might just be in the minority.)

A quick statement of the obvious before we begin the drinking game: TSS does not advocate the consumption of alcoholic beverages by minors. So if you’re under 21, you can read along, but don’t play along. And don’t ask Editor Mike to purchase your liquor for you, because he’s a man of high moral character. (Unless you slip him a c-note, in which case he’s happy to become the older brother you never had.) (EM Note: In this economy, I’m susceptible to a mere ten spot lol…)

And with that, let’s get ready to stumble … home drunk, with the 24/7 Pacquiao-Marquez Drinking Game:

Drink a glass of your own urine at the start of every episode because, hey, that’s just smart healthy living, right?

Drink a glass of raw quail eggs if the thought of urine consumption wasn’t quite enough to make you quit this drinking game.

Drink once anytime they show fight action from Pacquiao-Marquez I.

Drink twice anytime they show fight action from Pacquiao-Marquez II.

Chug whatever’s left in your fridge if they show fight action from Pacquiao-Marquez III, because that’s your cue that the fight has started, the 24/7 show is over, and thus the drinking game is wrapping up.

Drink a Horse’ Neck (brandy and ginger ale with a lemon zest) every time they show a close-up of Pacquiao’s calves.

Drink a liquefied bagel if you didn’t know prior to Marquez saying it that the Spanish word for cream cheese is “Philadelphia.”

Drink a shot of Old Grand-Dad if Pacquiao yells to his father Rosaleo Pacquiao, “I ain’t no junior!”

Drink a shot with one hand and pat yourself on the back with the other every time an HBO executive gets a gratuitous moment of screen time.

Drink a Kamikaze every time they show clips of Pacquiao fighting prior to 2005.

Drink a Slippery Nipple if they show the clip of Pacquiao suffering a “knockdown” against Shane Mosley last time out.

Drink a pint of your own blood anytime Jorge Linares makes an appearance.

Drink a cup of bleach if Pacquiao is shown consoling Linares and comes away with a red stain on his nice white shirt.

Knock out your two front teeth and enjoy a Black Tooth Grin (Crown Royal and Coke) if
you find yourself wishing Marquez would fire Nacho Beristain and hire Roger Mayweather to liven up 24/7.

Send me a bottle of champagne to congratulate me for the coining the term “Pacne” to describe Manny’s apparent second adolescence. (HD technology is definitely not Pacquiao’s friend at the moment.)

Send me another bottle of champagne if any of the Mayweathers are quoted in the next week or two pointing to Manny’s outbreak of Pacne as evidence that he’s on steroids.

Drink a Mind Eraser each time an episode ends and HBO has conveniently managed to ignore the existence of the one-sided Mayweather-Marquez fight.

Dip a teabag in hot water and drink anytime Joe Cortez is shown refereeing the first Pacquiao-Marquez fight.

Drink a shot glass full of your own tears if you’re sad about the absence of both Miss Jackson and Bella Gonzalez from this 24/7 series.

Drink a Fuzzy Navel anytime Pacquiao playfully pops Buboy Fernandez in the belly. Drink two Fuzzy Navels if you’re sad that you can see Buboy’s roundest feature but can’t see the roundest features of Bella or Miss Jackson.

Drink a Matador (tequila, pineapple juice, and lime juice) if you find yourself reminiscing about how much more handsome Marquez was back when he was younger and a defensive specialist.

Pour whatever’s left in your bottle down the drain wastefully when Freddie Roach explains, “There’s only like four of us that really have a job in [Pacquiao’s] entourage.”

Drink a bottle of Dos Equis if you spot The Most Interesting Man In The World among Pacquiao’s entourage.

Drink a bottle of Tecate because, hey, they’re Tecate and they support boxing.

Drink a whole case of Tecate because it usually comes with a rebate offer that makes your pay-per-view bill ever so slightly more palatable. Or, at the very least, a whole case of Tecate should help you to black out and forget about how expensive it is to be a boxing fan.

Eric Raskin can be contacted at RaskinBoxing@yahoo.com. You can follow him on Twitter @EricRaskin and listen to new episodes of his podcast, Ring Theory, at http://ringtheory.podbean.com.

Share The Sweet Science experience!
Continue Reading
Advertisement
Avila-Perspective-Chap-330-Matchroom-in-New-York-plus-the-latest-on-Canelo-Crawford
Featured Articles4 weeks ago

Avila Perspective, Chap. 330: Matchroom in New York plus the Latest on Canelo-Crawford

Vito-Mielnicki-Whitewashes-Kamil-Gardzielik-Before-the-Home-Folks-in-Newark
Featured Articles3 weeks ago

Vito Mielnicki Jr Whitewashes Kamil Gardzielik Before the Home Folks in Newark

Results-and-Recaps-from-New-York-Where-Taylor-edged-Serrano-Once-Again
Featured Articles8 hours ago

Results and Recaps from New York Where Taylor Edged Serrano Once Again

Catching-Up-with-Clay-Moyle-Who-Talks-About-His-Massive-Collection-of-Boxing-Books
Featured Articles4 weeks ago

Catching Up with Clay Moyle Who Talks About His Massive Collection of Boxing Books

From-a-Sympathetic-Figure-to-a-Pariah-The Travails-of-Julio-Cesar-Chavez-Jr
Featured Articles5 days ago

From a Sympathetic Figure to a Pariah: The Travails of Julio Cesar Chavez Jr

More-Medals-for-Hawaii's-Patricio-Family-at-USA-Boxing's-Summer-Festival
Featured Articles3 weeks ago

More Medals for Hawaii’s Patricio Family at the USA Boxing Summer Festival

Catterall-vs-Eubank-Ends-Prematurely-Catterall-Wins-a-Technical-Decision
Featured Articles7 days ago

Catterall vs Eubank Ends Prematurely; Catterall Wins a Technical Decision

Richardson-Hitchins-Batters-and-Stops-George-Kambosos-at-Madison-Square-Garden
Featured Articles4 weeks ago

Richardson Hitchins Batters and Stops George Kambosos at Madison Square Garden 

Callum-Walsh-Umar-Dzambekov-and-Cain-Sandoval-Remain-Unbeaten-at-Santa-Ynez
Featured Articles3 weeks ago

Callum Walsh, Umar Dzambekov and Cain Sandoval Remain Unbeaten at Santa Ynez

A-Fight-Fan-and-Teremoana-Samson-Junior-Leon-Teremoana
Featured Articles3 weeks ago

A Fight Fan and Teremoana Samson Junior Leon Teremoana

Jake-Paul-Outpoints-Julio-Cesar-Chavez-Jr-plus-Other-Results-from-Anaheim
Featured Articles2 weeks ago

Jake Paul Outpoints Julio Cesar Chavez Jr plus Other Results from Anaheim

Paro
Featured Articles2 weeks ago

Liam Paro Returns with a Flourish on Wednesday’s ‘No Limit’ Card in Queensland

A-Boxing-Card-in-Alabama-Goes-Pfft-A-True-Tale-from-the-Underbelly-of-the-Sweet-Science
Featured Articles2 weeks ago

A Boxing Card in Alabama Goes Pfft: A True Tale from the Underbelly of The Sweet Science

Avila-Perspective-Chap-331-Callum-Walsh-Brian-Norman-Galal-Yafai-and-More
Featured Articles3 weeks ago

Avila Perspective, Chap. 331: Callum Walsh, Brian Norman, Galal Yafai and More

A-Closer-Look-at-Mario-Barrios-Poised-to-Wreck-the-Comeback-of-a-Legend
Featured Articles2 weeks ago

A Closer Look at Mario Barrios, Poised to Wreck the Comeback of a Legend

Avila-Perspective-Chap-333-Jake-Paul-JC-Chavez-Jr-Zurdo-and-More
Featured Articles1 week ago

Avila Perspective, Chap. 333: Jake Paul, JC Chavez Jr, Zurdo and More

Brian-Norman-Jr-Bombs-Out-Jin-Sasaki-with-a-Frightful-Left-Hook
Featured Articles3 weeks ago

Brian Norman Jr Bombs Out Jin Sasaki with a Frightful Left Hook

When-Boxing-Was-Big-on-the-Fourth-of-July-A-TSS-Classic
Featured Articles1 week ago

When Boxing was Big on the Fourth of July: A TSS Classic

Avila-Perspective-Chap-332-Jake-Paul-vs-Chavez-Jr-plus-Mbilli-Deontay-and-More
Featured Articles2 weeks ago

Avila Perspective, Chap. 332: Jake Paul vs Chavez Jr., plus Mbilli, Deontay and More

Mbilli-Blasts-Out-Sulecki-in-Quebec-Wilder-TKOs-Herndon-in-Wichita
Featured Articles2 weeks ago

Mbilli Blasts Out Sulecki in Quebec; Wilder TKOs Herndon in Wichita

Results-and-Recaps-from-New-York-Where-Taylor-edged-Serrano-Once-Again
Featured Articles8 hours ago

Results and Recaps from New York Where Taylor Edged Serrano Once Again

Philadelphia-Welterweight-Gil-Turner-a-Phenom-Now-Rests-in-an-Unmarked-Grave
Featured Articles21 hours ago

Philadelphia Welterweight Gil Turner, a Phenom, Now Rests in an Unmarked Grave

Avila-Perspecrive-Chap-334-Back-to-Back-Boxing-Cards-in-the-Big-Apple
Featured Articles2 days ago

Avila Perspective, Chap. 334: Back-to-Back Boxing Cards in the Big Apple

From-a-Sympathetic-Figure-to-a-Pariah-The Travails-of-Julio-Cesar-Chavez-Jr
Featured Articles5 days ago

From a Sympathetic Figure to a Pariah: The Travails of Julio Cesar Chavez Jr

Catterall-vs-Eubank-Ends-Prematurely-Catterall-Wins-a-Technical-Decision
Featured Articles7 days ago

Catterall vs Eubank Ends Prematurely; Catterall Wins a Technical Decision

Avila-Perspective-Chap-333-Jake-Paul-JC-Chavez-Jr-Zurdo-and-More
Featured Articles1 week ago

Avila Perspective, Chap. 333: Jake Paul, JC Chavez Jr, Zurdo and More

When-Boxing-Was-Big-on-the-Fourth-of-July-A-TSS-Classic
Featured Articles1 week ago

When Boxing was Big on the Fourth of July: A TSS Classic

A-Boxing-Card-in-Alabama-Goes-Pfft-A-True-Tale-from-the-Underbelly-of-the-Sweet-Science
Featured Articles2 weeks ago

A Boxing Card in Alabama Goes Pfft: A True Tale from the Underbelly of The Sweet Science

Mexico's-Francisco-Rodriguez-Jr-is-the-TSS-Fighter-of-the-Month-for-June
Featured Articles2 weeks ago

Mexico’s Francisco Rodriguez Jr is the TSS Fighter of the Month for June

Jake-Paul-Outpoints-Julio-Cesar-Chavez-Jr-plus-Other-Results-from-Anaheim
Featured Articles2 weeks ago

Jake Paul Outpoints Julio Cesar Chavez Jr plus Other Results from Anaheim

Holly-Holm-Joshua-Edwards-and-Rene-Alvarado-Sparkle-on-the-Paul-Chavez-Undercard
Featured Articles2 weeks ago

Holly Holm, Joshua Edwards, and Rene Alvarado Sparkle on the Paul-Chavez Undercard

Mbilli-Blasts-Out-Sulecki-in-Quebec-Wilder-TKOs-Herndon-in-Wichita
Featured Articles2 weeks ago

Mbilli Blasts Out Sulecki in Quebec; Wilder TKOs Herndon in Wichita

Avila-Perspective-Chap-332-Jake-Paul-vs-Chavez-Jr-plus-Mbilli-Deontay-and-More
Featured Articles2 weeks ago

Avila Perspective, Chap. 332: Jake Paul vs Chavez Jr., plus Mbilli, Deontay and More

A-Closer-Look-at-Mario-Barrios-Poised-to-Wreck-the-Comeback-of-a-Legend
Featured Articles2 weeks ago

A Closer Look at Mario Barrios, Poised to Wreck the Comeback of a Legend

Paro
Featured Articles2 weeks ago

Liam Paro Returns with a Flourish on Wednesday’s ‘No Limit’ Card in Queensland

More-Medals-for-Hawaii's-Patricio-Family-at-USA-Boxing's-Summer-Festival
Featured Articles3 weeks ago

More Medals for Hawaii’s Patricio Family at the USA Boxing Summer Festival

Callum-Walsh-Umar-Dzambekov-and-Cain-Sandoval-Remain-Unbeaten-at-Santa-Ynez
Featured Articles3 weeks ago

Callum Walsh, Umar Dzambekov and Cain Sandoval Remain Unbeaten at Santa Ynez

Vito-Mielnicki-Whitewashes-Kamil-Gardzielik-Before-the-Home-Folks-in-Newark
Featured Articles3 weeks ago

Vito Mielnicki Jr Whitewashes Kamil Gardzielik Before the Home Folks in Newark

Avila-Perspective-Chap-331-Callum-Walsh-Brian-Norman-Galal-Yafai-and-More
Featured Articles3 weeks ago

Avila Perspective, Chap. 331: Callum Walsh, Brian Norman, Galal Yafai and More

Brian-Norman-Jr-Bombs-Out-Jin-Sasaki-with-a-Frightful-Left-Hook
Featured Articles3 weeks ago

Brian Norman Jr Bombs Out Jin Sasaki with a Frightful Left Hook

Advertisement
Advertisement
Advertisement

Trending