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Klitschko – Fury: Mind Games, Round One
DUSSELDORF – “Some things are always the same at these press conferences, but some things are also always new,” said Wladimir Klitschko at some point during the extended conversation, some incendiary, between he and Tyson Fury at their initial media gathering.
That statement is quite true, and in this instance some of those new things cast a better illumination on what to expect from each personality as the Klitschko – Fury saga unfolds.
It seemed appropriate that the participants emphasized mental aspects of their contest, which appears to pit opposite personality types who may actually be of more similar philosophies than they generally present.
If mind games are the first meaningful engagement before a fight itself, then Klitschko’s heavyweight title defense on October 24th at ESPRIT Arena could be quite unique.
Unique, as in a slugging scenario in which the usually unflappable Klitschko faces serious problems. Klitschko was the usual epitome of class, but he seemed a little uptight, out of character.
Fury might have stung him with some eye-to-eye criticism, but that also seemed to fuel Klitschko’s ferocity in a dangerous way. By the final third of the nearly three-hour session, he eyed Fury like a shark.
Trying to evaluate fighters’ psyches as they attempt to get into each other’s head is often an exercise in folly, but if such psychological analysis could always be accurately determined before the first punches land it would sure help tell me which way to bet.
When they glanced calmly at each other arriving on the podium, Klitschko leaned over to shake hands and Fury responded with a polite smile, indicating a mellow demeanor. His team was very respectful to Klitschko and to their German hosts.
Until provoked, Fury’s comments were relatively mild. “I have to give credit to the older champion for taking on a challenge like myself. I’m just wondering, after I beat him, does his TV deal roll over to me?” pondered Fury, not so much tongue in cheek as money in bank.
An opening, super hi-def montage with multiple clips of Fury making derogatory remarks made Fury look bemused. Klitschko’s montage showed numerous prefight promises by previous opponents. In case anybody missed the point there were high slow motion replays of each challenger’s face getting rearranged.
It was the champion who shook matters up later, repeating passive-aggressive prods like, “Fury right now isn’t everything he shows, just portions. I hope it’s going to get more entertaining because I was a little disappointed. Is this it? He didn’t throw the table, or a microphone or maybe a shoe? We used to get flying shoes here (Shannon Briggs).”
Interesting that the European urban dictionary seems to define those press conference outbursts as “Amerikanisch”.
For his part, Klitschko offered biographical musings on a wide range of subjects. He is an aged vintage, Fury is a shot and a beer.
“It was always challenging to find the right key to beating my opponents, but it is also motivation to myself,” continued Klitschko reflectively, while Fury seemed to suppress a yawn. “He really means what he’s talking about and he’s definitely not coming here just to be present and be on the canvas.” Those words didn’t hide the unspoken dismissal of the challenger’s chances.
“The first time I heard about Tyson Fury was a running joke about a guy punching himself in the face,” said Klitschko as Fury began to look less cordial. “He sings, he dances, he’s a cool dude, so entertaining. Some people adore him and some say they can’t stand him.”
When Klitschko stated “I haven’t seen much (film) of his fights, only a little bit.” Fury growled, “He’s lying.”
Maybe we lost it in translation, but it sounded like Wlad almost took a swipe at beloved mentor Emanuel Steward, when Klitschko referenced Papa Kronk’s supposed prediction of fighters like Fury becoming champion someday.
Therein lies what we believe was the reason for Dr. Steelhammer’s more aggressive than usual stance at the press conference. It seemed like he felt a lack of respect from Fury, the media, maybe even the fans.
“Anybody can become champion quick, for one fight. It’s very tough to be champion for a long, long time,” said Klitschko, staring harshly.
“I think this is going to be the toughest fight of your life, I think it is not going to be simple for you. I also believe I am going to face one of my toughest opponents. Just your size and your stance, switching from southpaw to regular, is going to be a challenge. But I’ll be ready, that I can promise. I wish you fast healing.”
Fury understood that announced butt-kicking time. A subdued light in his eyes turned into fire as he became incensed, little by little.
Klitschko’s shtick on this cranial chessboard cited sports psychology academics, referencing “therapy” to make unstable Fury a better person ala Klitschko’s fight against David Haye. Not the most brazen posture, but it incensed Fury, who launched into a raging half soliloquy on Klitscko’s lack of fistic virtue.
“It’s a personal mission for me to rid boxing of a boring person like you,” Said Fury. “I could have fallen asleep listening to your sheepish talk. I ain’t interested in all the titles, all the belts you’ve got on that table. I’m interested in breaking your face in, that’s what I‘m interested in.
“Your jab and grab style, surely all of Europe wants to see you get beaten, and the rest of the world will see you get beaten. You have about as much charisma as my underpants, zero.
“You’re a ‘sports psychologist’, speaks 37 different languages, so what? You’re still a boring person. I am the new blood in the division, you’re an old man. You’ve got grey hair like my trainer and my manager. You’ve got wrinkles in your face. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve had Botox as well. It is what it is, you look old.
“You can have as many idiots on that television as you want, all them stupid Americans that’s got no gas. They run out of steam after five rounds. It’s a known fact that if you take these American guys six or seven rounds they fall on the ground, out of energy. I have the American style with the European conditioning, and that equals you’re (“in trouble”).
“History does not lie. History says all old champions move over for the new ones. Is this man better than all the great champions of the past? I think not. And all the great champions of the past, at 39 years old, are on the decline. You are nothing and you’re getting knocked out.
“I don’t care about being a role model, I don’t care about going down in history. All I care bout is beating you. I dream about knocking your head off. How dare you mention my name in the same sentence with David Haye.
“I’ll hire you to be my therapist after I knock you out because you’ll need a job. I’m unpredictable, and all you types hate unpredictability. So right now I’m already inside your mind. How’s that for psychology?”
The suddenly heated rhetoric concluded, Klitschko acted pleased that Fury was finally pumping the promotion. Still, intensity lingered. Fury delivered an impersonal, hilariously filthy one-liner that he was probably saving to close the show, so how much of his indignation was actually sincere remains unclear.
But their second handshake was much less cordial than the first. As in ice cold.
As they next made their way onto the bright stadium field for photos, Fury paused amidst a mass of multi-colored seats to glance toward the open roof, a pair of gigantic fight posters underneath. Contemplating that looming image was one of the few times Fury looked completely serious all afternoon.
From the sound and look of things with just a few people around, Fury was respectful of Klitschko but had gotten under his skin.
There was another serious moment for Fury as he waited between TV interviews, watching Klitschko, twenty feet away, interact seamlessly with the media. “Look at him,” Fury said, almost wistfully, listing Klitschko’s achievements. “I can’t be that guy. I don’t want to be that guy.”
First impression odds considering only physiques and personas observed at press conference and photo shoot: pick ‘em.
Odds including prior knowledge of fighter performances: Klitschko 5 – 1 favorite.
Odds considering only Klitschko performance against Bryant Jennings: Klitschko – 250 (almost 3-1 favorite).
Odds considering only Fury performance against Steve Cunningham: Klitschko 10 – 1 favorite.
Odds on Fury to impress: 2 – 1 for.
Odds on Klitschko to impress: 3 – 1 for.
Klitschko by decision: even / pick ‘em.
Klitschko by KO: 3 – 1 for.
Fury by Decision: 15 – 1 against.
Fury by KO: 5 – 1 against.
Draw: 50-1 against.
Disqualification: 5 – 1 against.
Visiting Brits to handle their beer as well as the locals: 1000 – 1 against.
At first glance, this bout looks anywhere between one of Klitschko’s patented dominant performances and one of his surprising debacles. It would be careless of him to use any different method than he has recently. Can Fury force him out of that conking comfort zone?
Fury’s uncovered arms looked bigger than Klitschko’s while Klitschko was in a slightly padded suit.
Which brings us back to early predictions. Obviously, each man will likely play true to their general form, without many exchanges during the first minutes. The more typically they fight, the more it favors Klitschko, and his chances for a late round KO, but something hints this will not be a typical Klitschko fight.
Don’t be surprised if Klitschko switches stances or charges out more aggressively, especially if there are any new additions to his training camp. If Fury responds well to some unusual tactic, it is not impossible to visualize a multi-knockdown brawl, maybe the first one in either Klitschko’s career in which each fighter gets dropped.
As they were walking off the pitch, somebody asked Fury, who’d been playing around with a soccer ball photo prop, how he was with the football.
“I’m great at everything I do,” he replied sternly, then smiled with a nod and a wink.
The real Fury is somewhere between that casually intense character who narrowed his gaze at Klitschko on the pitch and the guy who took a humble, extended glance at his own image on the huge arena billboards.
That’s pretty serious elevation, even if you’re 6’8.
Whether that guy can generate near enough power or pressure to make things interesting, let alone highly competitive, against an elite champion like Klitschko is just one of many factors probably on each fighter’s mind, right about now.
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Avila Perspective, Chap. 299: Golden Boy in Saudi Arabia and More
Avila Perspective, Chap. 299: Golden Boy in Saudi Arabia and More
A small brigade of Mexican and Latino-American fighters gathered at the beautiful Mayan Theater in downtown Los Angeles on Wednesday.
Their mission: to export Mexican style fighting to the Saudi Arabia desert.
Gilberto “Zurdo” Ramirez defends the WBA cruiserweight title against WBO cruiserweight titlist Chris Billam-Smith and they will be joined by several other top Golden Boy Promotion fighters on Nov. 16 at the Venue in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia.
DAZN will stream the Golden Boy and BOXXER promotions card called “The Venue Riyadh Season.”
Mexican fighters are known worldwide for their ferocity and durability. Ramirez, a former super middleweight champion, surprised many with his convincing win over former champion Arsen Goulamirian last March.
Now Ramirez seeks to unify the cruiserweight titles against United Kingdom’s Smith who has never fought outside of his native country.
“I will become the first Mexican cruiserweight unified champion. It’s exciting because my dream will come true this November 16,” said Ramirez.
Smith has a similar goal.
“This opportunity for me is huge,” said Smith. “I’ve been written off many times before.”
The cruiserweights will be joined by two top super lightweight warriors who’ve been itching to face each other like a pair of fighting roosters.
Arnold Barboza, an undefeated super lightweight contender from Los Angeles, has been chasing top contenders and world champions for the past six years. Former super lightweight champion Jose Ramirez simply wants action and a return to elite status.
“I’ve been wanting this fight since 2019 for whatever reason it never happened,” said Barboza. “I want to give credit and thanks to Oscar, he’s a man of his word. When I signed to Golden Boy, he said he was going to give me this fight.”
“It’s honorable Barboza saying he’s been chasing the fight since 2019. Now that he stands in the way for me to reclaim my titles it’s time to get that fight on,” said Ramirez.
Others on the Riyadh fight card include Puerto Rico’s WBO minimumweight world titlist Oscar Collazo defending against Thailand’s Thammanoon Niyomtrong, along with Oscar Duarte and lightweight contenders William Zepeda and Tevin Farmer.
One fighter missing from the card is Charles Conwell, the super welterweight contender they recently signed earlier in the year. He last performed on the Vergil Ortiz Jr. and Serhii Bohachuk clash in Las Vegas.
Conwell has similar talent to those two.
And what about the women fighters”
Yokasta Valle recently re-signed with Golden Boy Promotions. What is her next scheduled fight? She was spotted facing up against Australia’s Lulu “Bang, Bang” Hawton at a fight card. Is that on the horizon?
West Coast venues
Speaking of the Mayan Theater in downtown Los Angeles, its just a few buildings north of the Belasco Theater where Golden Boy was staging its club shows for several years.
A majority of the boxing media favored that location for its cozy atmosphere and proximity to LA Live. A number of prospects that developed into contenders and world champions fought there including Vergil Ortiz Jr., Ryan Garcia, Joshua Franco, and Oscar Duarte.
On any given fight night celebrities like Mario Lopez, George Lopez and others would show up in the small venue that held several hundred fans in its ornate theater setting.
The Mayan Theater and Belasco Theater are still open for business. According to one source, LA Laker owner Jeannie Buss stages a pro wrestling show at one of those theaters.
World title fight
England’s Nick Ball (20-0-1, 11 KOs) defends the WBA featherweight world title against Southern California’s Ronny Rios (34-4, 17 KOs) on Saturday Oct. 5, at M&S Bank Arena in Liverpool, England. Starting time for the Queensberry and Top Rank promotion card is 11 a.m. PT.
Ball was last seen nearly toppling WBC featherweight titlist Rey Vargas but lost last March. He then defeated Ray Ford for the WBA title
Fights to Watch
Fri. ESPN+ 2 a.m. PT Janibek Alimkhanuly (15-0) vs Andrei Mikhailovich (21-0)
Sat. ESPN+ 11 a.m. PT Nick Ball (20-0-1) vs Ronny Rios (34-4)
Photo credit: Cris Esqueda / Golden Boy
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Boxing Odds and Ends: ‘Paint-Gate,’ the Haney-Garcia lawsuit and More
This reporter chanced upon Manny “Flick” Savoy yesterday afternoon at a boxing gym in Las Vegas. That afforded me an opportunity to get his take on “paint gate.”
In case you missed it, Sandy Ryan was splashed with red paint on Friday as she left her hotel for Madison Square Garden where she would be defending her WBO world welterweight title against Mikaela Mayer. Manny Savoy was roughly 10 feet away from her when the incident happened. It happened so fast and was so unexpected that Savoy – who would be Ryan’s chief voice in her corner — never got a good look at the perpetrator who was wearing a hoodie.
A security camera captured the attack and Savoy keeps the little video on his cell phone. In the video that Savoy shared with me, one can see a late-model vehicle pull up and double-park. The man with the hoodie emerges from the passenger side holding a receptacle of some sort and then, moments later, rushes back without it and the car speeds off.
The paint-splashing was part of a multi-pronged assault. Sandy Ryan was defamed in leaflets that appeared around her hotel and near Madison Garden. The leaflets had Ryan’s image and the text, among other things, called her a whore. (We were shown a screenshot of one of the leaflets tacked to a pole, but it was not a close-up and we were only able to make out a few words.)
Who would do such a thing and why? Let’s rule out the possibility that the assault was random; that’s too far-fetched. Someone had to have been tipped-off when Sandy Ryan would emerge from her hotel. The defamatory leaflets, coupled with the paint attack and threatening messages from anonymous callers that Ryan says were left on her phone, are compelling evidence that this was a premeditated and well-thought-out scheme of attack.
Sandy Ryan and Mikaela Mayer were well-acquainted. They had known each other since their amateur days. Mikaela had sparred with Sandy in preparation for the 2016 Olympics. But what had been a warm relationship soured when Ryan hooked up with Mikaela’s coach Kay Koroma in Las Vegas at the same gym where Mayer regularly trained. Mikaela didn’t think that was kosher and eventually ditched Koroma in favor of Kofi Jantuah, a sundering that left hard feelings on both sides.
Ryan is firm in her belief that Mayer’s team was behind the attack. “What else could it be?” she says. Manny Savoy won’t go that far, but notes that Ryan, a British citizen with a home in Portugal, never spent enough time in New York to make any enemies there. Her fight with Mayer was her second fight in the U.S. and her first fight in the Big Apple.
Mikaela Mayer’s manager George Ruiz was quick to respond to Sandy Ryan’s veiled accusation: “Let me be clear. No one associated with Team Mayer had anything to do with the paint assault on you or the leaflets and the alleged anonymous threatening messages you say you received….Mikaela and Team Mayer want the perpetrator(s) found, caught, and punished to the full extent of the law.”
(The view from here is that while it seems logical that someone associated with Mayer orchestrated the attack, we would be shocked if Mikaela had any foreknowledge of it. The lady has far too much common-sense to get involved in a scheme that could ruin her boxing career and her promising post-boxing career as a TV boxing pundit.)
The presumed intent was to psychologically unsettle Sandy Ryan to where she couldn’t bring her A-game. (Sandy was a short favorite and the odds wavered only slightly, diluting the theory that the assault was orchestrated as part of a betting coup.)
As for the fight itself, it was outstanding. If Ryan was rattled, she didn’t show it although she came out on the short end of a majority decision, a decision that was somewhat controversial. (ESPN’s Mark Kriegel had Ryan winning six rounds to four.)
Ryan’s promoter Eddie Hearn has called on the WBO to mandate a rematch. “[Sandy] had to go back to her room, take all her clothes off, take all the paint off her body. [She had to be] emotionally shocked to pieces and yet she gave an incredible performance. The WBO, if they have any compassion, must order an immediate rematch.”
The rematch, if it happens, won’t be in New York. Advised to leave the city for her own safety, Sandy Ryan got out of town in a hurry.
—
In an article published here on June 23, Thomas Hauser wrote about the possible ramifications to Ryan Garcia’s failed PED test beyond the sanctions imposed upon him by the New York State Athletic Commission. Garcia’s victory over previously undefeated Devin Haney at Brooklyn’s Barclays Center on April 30, 2024, was a changed to a no-contest when ostarine, a banned substance, was discovered in Garcia’s urine samples.
Hauser speculated that Team Haney might file a lawsuit against Garcia. By using a performance-enhancing substance, Garcia denied Devin a level playing field, yielding a result that adversely affected Devin’s future earnings, or so it would be argued.
Team Haney was paying attention. Six days ago, on Sept. 27, they filed a lawsuit in New York seeking compensation for “battery, fraud, and breach of contract.”
If successful, the lawsuit, which has polarized the boxing community, may benefit the sport. “Win, lose, or draw in court, I think this is actually a good thing to deter fighters from using performance enhancing drugs because the [current] penalty is not strict enough,” said Eddie Hearn in a conversation with Boxing Social.
—
This is a boxing site, but kindly indulge me as I go off-topic and say a few words about Pete Rose who passed away at his home in Las Vegas on Monday, one day after appearing with several of his former Cincinnati Reds teammates at a sports memorabilia show in Nashville.
I never felt sorry for Pete because he was an a-hole. Ask some of the veteran blackjack dealers here in Las Vegas and you will be hard-pressed to find one who has a nice word to say about him. However, whether his lifetime ban from baseball should have been lifted so that he could go into the Hall of Fame while he was still alive…well, that’s a horse of a different color.
Pete Rose was baseball’s all-time hit king, but forget the stats; he transcended the sport.
News of Pete’s death transported me back more than three decades to a conversation I had with my young son who hadn’t yet started kindergarten. He had become a fan of the Atlanta Braves, one of two teams (the other was the Cubs) whose home and away games were nationally televised.
One day, when he was watching baseball and I was in the next room, he came in and said, “dad, so-and-so [the player’s name eludes me] just did a Charlie Hustle.”
I have no idea where he got that from and he likely wouldn’t have recognized Pete Rose if he had bumped into him on the street – Pete had been out of baseball for some time – but I knew exactly what he was talking about. He had just witnessed a player on the Braves beat out an infield hit or maybe a bunt by sliding head-first into first base.
A friend e-mailed me yesterday from North Carolina and said, “From my view, the Hall is diminished by not having him in there rather than the other way around.”
I share that sentiment. If you disagree, we can still be friends.
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Alycia Baumgardner is Legit, but her Title Defense vs Persoon was a Weird Artifice
Women’s fights were bursting out all over this past weekend. The bout that warranted the most attention, one could argue, was the match between Alycia Baumgardner and Delfine Persoon. That’s because it had the most world titles at stake; Baumgardner was recognized as the world super featherweight champion by all four major sanctioning bodies. But this fight got lost in the shuffle because two other female title fights were packaged on larger platforms. On Friday at Madison Square Garden, airing on ESPN, Mikaela Mayer captured the WBO welterweight title from Sandy Ryan. On Saturday in Sheffield, England, airing on Sky Sports in the UK and globally on DAZN, Terri Harper wrested the WBO lightweight title from Rhiannon Dixon.
Baumgardner vs. Persoon, the capstone of an all-female, nine-bout card, was staged before an invitation-only audience at a film and TV production studio situated near Atlanta’s Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport. The card, all nine bouts, was livestreamed on BrinX.TV, a fledging, sports-oriented streaming platform. We made it a point to check it out, less because we were smitten by the card than because we had heard of BrinX.TV and we didn’t quite understand it.
Baumgardner kept her hardware in a bout that ended inconclusively (more about that later). As for BrinX.TV which bills itself as the next generation of sports and entertainment (company motto: ‘The Kingdom of Awesomeness”), we still don’t quite understand it.
Here’s what we know: BrinX.TV is into niche sports. Examples include freestyle trampolining, downhill skateboarding, powerboat racing, and jai alai. “The more unique the sport, the more passionate its fans,” says BrinX.TV co-founder and spokesperson John Brenkus.
Where it gets weird is that viewers have a chance to compete for cash prizes while watching a competition. However, to have skin in the game, one apparently has to purchase something. There’s a shopping channel component in the BrinX.TV business model.
The chief sponsor of the all-female boxing card was Ninja Pirates Misfits which appears to be a clothing brand with no relation to the 2012 animated film, “The Pirates! Brand of Misfits.” It must be a brand-new brand because the only item offered for sale during the boxing card was a $45 tee shirt. We might be wrong, but we were left with the impression that the player that won the most money finagled his way to the top of the leaderboard by buying the most tee shirts.
One doesn’t merely make a fashion statement by purchasing a Ninja Pirates Misfits tee shirt. A portion of the receipts, we were told, would go to increasing the prize pool for the boxers while, in a wider context, “elevating women in sports.”
The card moved at a brisk pace through the first five fights. It slowed to a crawl when John Brenkhus addressed the audience from the center of the ring. “The energy here is amazing,” said Brinkhus to the largely subdued crowd of perhaps 200 people, some of whom were dressed in formal attire. Later in the show, he brought Laila Ali and then former NFL player Dez Bryant into the ring and gushed over them while they reciprocated by congratulating him for “making history.”
Brenkus intentionally created the impression that this was the first all-female card in the annals of boxing. It was no such thing.
Not quite two years ago, there was an all-female show at London’s O2 Arena, a Matchroom promotion topped by two compelling title fights, Claressa Shields vs Savannah Marshall and Mikaela Mayer vs Alycia Baumgardner, with former Olympians Lauren Price, Caroline Dubois, Karriss Artingstall and Ginny Fuchs showcased in four of the nine supporting bouts.
Moreover, a quick google search reveals that the O2 event wasn’t the first of its kind. On July 13, 1979, there was an all-female card at the LA Sports Center. A very good bantamweight, Graciela Casillas, made her pro debut on the undercard which also included a fight for Mirian “Lady Tyger” Trimiar who would be named to the International Boxing Hall of Fame in 2020 along with her cohort, the fraudulent Jackie Tonawanda.
Baumgardner vs. Persoon: The Fight
Alycia Baumgardner, 15-1 with 7 KOs heading in, was a unified champion. In her most recent bout, in July of last year, she avenged her lone defeat with a lopsided decision over Christina Linardatou.
Delfine Persoon, who brought a 49-3 (19) record, will be the first fighter from Belgium to go into the Hall of Fame, of that we are quite certain. Two of her three losses came at the hands of Irish superstar Katie Taylor and the first of those losses, underneath Joshua-Ruiz I at Madison Square Garden, was a barnburner that could have gone either way. There were scattered boos when Taylor was announced the winner by majority decision, notwithstanding the fact that the crowd was teeming with Brits.
But Persoon wasn’t the same fighter against Alycia Baumgardner that she had been back in the day when she touched gloves with Katie Taylor. She was now 39 years old (Baumgardner is 30) and entered the ring wearing a large brace over her right knee, an apparatus that compromised her mobility.
In the first round, Alycia knocked Persoon off-balance with a left-right combination. It was ruled a knockdown when both of Persoon’s gloves brushed the canvas.
In round four, with Baumgardner up by 4 points on all three cards through the three completed rounds, a clash of heads left the Belgian with a nasty gash above her right eye and referee Laurence Cole, on the advice of the ring doctor, stopped the fight. By rule, the bout had to go four full rounds to go to the scorecards. It fell 23 seconds short and was ruled a “no-contest.” Ergo, Baumgardner retained her titles.
Afterthoughts
Of the 18 ladies on the BrinX.TV card, eight were making their pro debut and several of these novices were already in their 30s. But, while they were new to boxing, they were not new to combat sports.
In the new world order, there’s a lot of crossover, especially at the club fight level. Boxrec, the sport’s indispensable record keeper, now carries BK (bare knuckle) and TCL (Team Combat League) results. Add MMA to the mix and there are now four pieces to the combat sports pie, five if one counts kickboxing as a separate entity. And while many women boxers in the past had a kickboxing background, nowadays there is more fluidity across multiple disciplines (a major headache for state boxing commissions).
Of the undercard fighters, we were most impressed by super bantamweight Isabel Vasquez, a 21-year-old Floridian, and junior welterweight Stephanie Simon, a 30-year-old former Marine and former U.S. national amateur champion. Both would appear to have bright futures at the professional level.
A final note: We would be remiss if we failed to note that BrinX.TV is free and that one doesn’t have to jump through hoops to summon it up. Hooray for that. And for the record, this reporter didn’t buy any Ninja Pirates Misfits tee shirts; we already had plenty in the closet (just kidding).
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