It Might Be Time To Leave Boxing When…………

By Ted Sares

The pendulum between like and dislike (or even love and hate) moves noticeably in a negative direction. One aficionado I respect is pondering whether it’s time to leave, notwithstanding the boxing media’s efforts to assert that things are just rosy. Prefacing each comment with “when,” he pointed out that the following observations have fueled his thinking:

When…1) the mention of Don Dunphy’s name garnered a glazed look.

2) Mention of the “Boston Bomber” Tony DeMarco got “but isn’t he from Mexico?”

3) Mention of Kid Gavilan from Cuba prompted “Don’t you mean Kid Blast?”

4) Mention of Kid Paret from Cuba prompted “Don’t you mean Kid Gavilan?”

5) Mention of Rocky Marciano inspired an enthusiastic mention of Rocky Balboa.

6) Stating that in the 50’s “Chico” Vejar (92-20-4) was “served up on Friday night TV broadcasts as much as fish,” and a dull and blank look was the response.

7) It’s pointed out that old school fighters walked in without much fanfare, and the respondee agrees pointing to Ricky Hatton’s “Blue Moon” thing as a prime example.

8) Floyd Mayweather Jr.’s attempts to wax philosophical somehow seemed to have become interesting.

9) And so has Michael Buffer’s bile-inducing routine.

10) A “fan” points out that the homeless man known as “Champ” in the movie Resurrecting the Champ really and truly was Chicago bomber Bob Satterfield.

11) A 25-year-old boxing “journalist” says he watched the Monday and Friday night fights (put on by Gillette and Pabst Blue Ribbon) with his dad “back in the day.”

12) Mention of the pier-six brawls between Charley Norkus and Danny Nardico prompts the response that it was a great scene in On the Waterfront.

13) Someone points out that Freddie “Lil’ Hagler” Norwood is Marvelous Marvin’s half-brother.

14) Someone says that while boxing has always been Manny Pacquiao’s passion, public service is his true calling because he feels a great responsibility to his people.

15) “Newspaper Decisions” are thought to be those written by Dan Rafael.

16) “Historians” tell you they were ringside for Jack Johnson’s fights.

17) An historian says”Jack Johnson was not merely a fistic wonder of his era; he was a seminal and timeless world heavyweight champion who would have dominated his peers in any pocket of time…”

18) An “historian” says “Neither of these very large men [Klitschko and Fury] had the skill level of a decent amateur from years ago. Klitschko went into the ring with 67 bouts under his belt, yet he looked like a guy who had just walked into a gym and didn’t have the slightest idea of how to box. Fury, with a career consisting of 24 bouts was just as lacking in talent.”

19) After recovering from these observations, the wavering aficionado went poetic and proclaimed,” boxing can be enswell, Vaseline, ointment, ice bags, Q-tips, and duct tape juxtaposed against a sensual confluence of sweat, testosterone, perfume, cheap cigar smoke, and even cheaper after-shave lotion; it’s the sweet smell of success and sour odor of failure,”  but someone said “Ugh, how disgusting.”

20) It’s said that an Ariza Shake is a protein shake.

21) A hard guy pats his chest and waives the other guy in as he spits out blood while the crowd rises as one and roars its approval– the spine no longer tingles.

22) The judging in Olympic boxing matches is no longer bothersome.

23) Those risqué photos of Oscar De La Hoya were the result of a Photoshop experiment gone awry.

24) Adrien Broner threatened suicide on Twitter (hopefully a call for help).

25) Back in 1985, Lee Roy Murphy and Chisanda Mutti engaged in a double knockdown in which Mutti was counted out while Murphy barely beat the count in the very last round. It’s mentioned that double knockdowns are something most fans would never tire of seeing, and the response is “have you not watched the Rocky series?”

26) It’s stated that Miles Davis loved to hobnob with fighters, especially those in Chicago and New York, and the response is “didn’t he have a pretty decent record?”

27) The females hit the scene—Lady Tyger Trimiar, Jackie Tonawanda, Christy, Deidre, Laila, Ann; Lucia, Holly—and it’s quickly pointed out that boxing is a “man’s world.”

28) The boxing media’s continuing attempt to exploit and, in the case of the UK press, even destroy an obviously troubled Tyson Fury takes on the quasi-sadistic aura of shooting ducks in a barrel.

29) Chatter around the water cooler at work on Monday morning is no longer about boxing; it’s about Female MMA.

30) You fill in.

Ted Sares is one of the world’s oldest active power lifters and holds several records. He enjoys writing about boxing and is a member of Ring 4’s Boxing Hall of Fame.