@Max(imum) Kellerman

Editor’s note: The following letter to Max Kellerman is being posted on behalf of the author, Dino da Vinci.
Dear Sir:
A short time ago, you had erroneously referred to us Patriots fans as amongst the dumbest fans in sports.

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Published

7 years ago

February 4, 2018

The Sweet Science

Editor’s note: The following letter to Max Kellerman is being posted on behalf of the author, Dino da Vinci.

Dear Sir:

A short time ago, you had erroneously referred to us Patriots fans as amongst the dumbest fans in sports.

I initially saw it as an attempt to keep the ratings up, figuring you were toeing the company line. You were being a good soldier, doing as you were told, and it would be a one and done kinda thing.

What I thought to be only a snack, however, is turning into an eleven-course meal.

Max, your comments have triggered an inundation of phone calls, emails, texts, faxes, telegraphs, courier pigeons, et al., all stating something to the effect of “Hey D, you know this guy, you need to have a little chat with him.” After backpedaling profusely, I explained that, while I am well aware of you, I in no way know you. Nor do I know Roger “Ideal Gas Law” Goodell, or Chris Mortenson (yeah, you’re a respected journalist), Jane Rosenberg (at least you got it right with your second opportunity), or Bernard Pollard (we realize it was an unfortunate injury in the course of doing your job, but it hurts no less).

Max, I’m officially addressing you on behalf of New England Patriots fans everywhere. Simply put, if we don’t receive a sincere and heartfelt apology, you’ll be forcing us to make you an idiom.

As I plan on living forever, what follows is a conversation I will most likely be having in the future, with one of my great-great-great-great-great-great-granddaughters.

Circa 2132 AD

Maria Angelica (age 6): “Multi-great-GrandPapa D, what’s the origin of the term “kellerman” or “at kellerman? My teacher told me you’d be the perfect person to ask.

DdaV: “You mean like when people said there was no such thing as global warming and now people say, “Wow, they really kellerman’d that one”, like that? It’s all true. Why, in fact, we used to have big white bears called polar bears…”

MA: (gasps) “Wow! Like an Abdominablable Snowman?”

DdaV: “Sorta. And large, beautiful marine turtles…”

MA: (gasps) “Really?! Like Michelangelo, Donatello, Raphael and Leonardo.”

DdaV: “Yeah, sure. And penguins…”

MA: (Gasps) “Last Christmas Santa brought me a book entitled ‘From the First Dodo Bird to the Last One of What May Have Been as Many as 20 Different Species of Penguins: The History of the Flightless Bird and What it Says About Us Now That They’re All Gone. A Reflection.'”

DdaV: “A bit wordy, but my very point. And Colorado, Utah, Nevada, and California…”

MA: “Types of fish that couldn’t acclimate to the warming of the oceans?”

DdaV: “No, those were actual states that were part of the United States of America. Now we just have the “Somewhat, Mostly United States of America.”

MA: “Or when people said that artificial intelligence would only help us as a people and today our world leader is a killer bot named X28-3-1501-49-0, or as he likes to call himself, Fluffy?”

DdaV: “Exactly.”

MA: “And the origin of the saying?”

D da V: “It’s an expression you don’t hear as much anymore. It harks back to well over 100 years ago when a man they let talk into a microphone by the name of Max Kellerman figured he’d get a jump on the demise of quarterback Tom Brady and the New England Patriots.”

MA: “That was a real man?”

D da V: “Uh, well… some would argue, but I would say so. Anyway, back to what happened. Max Kellerman was a grown-up man who made a big mistake and refused to admit that he was wrong, even when he knew that he was wrong.”

MA: “Like last year in kindergarten when Timmy put the goldfish on the hampster wheel and stated that it disproved the evolutionary process because Goldy needed to sprout legs, but evidently didn’t grow them?”

DdaV: “Let’s make that a topic for another day. Back to Max. You see, he called the Patriots’ fans dumb for believing in their quarterback, Tom Brady. In 2016, Mr. Kellerman said Brady would “be a bum in short order,” and in 2017 he said he would “fall off a cliff.” Basically, he said that Brady wasn’t going to be good at his job any more, and that he was just okay. Well, in 2017 Tom Brady won another Super Bowl, his fifth, sixth or seventh Super Bowl win up to that point. It really starts to blur at around that time.”

MA: “Was that Tom Brady related to the Tom Brady who is quarterbacking the Patriots today, Papa D?”

D da V: “To answer your question, yes, it is in fact the very same Tom Brady. What “at Maximum Kellerman” refers to is how fast can you come to the wrong conclusion, and how long you can stay wrong even after reality and/or science has proven you’re wrong, sort of like the flat earth concept. Here’s a guy, Max, who was wrong, it was proven that he was wrong, and then he kept re-upping on being wrong, while continually being re-proven that he had remained wrong. Actually, it was initially called “at Wicked Maximum Kellerman”, as it was a New England thing until it went global, and then they dropped the Wicked, then later in some places the max, or maximum, much like how The Mystic Knights of the Oingo Boingo was shortened to Oingo Boingo, then later just Boingo.”

MA: “Huh?”

D da V: “Not important. The point is, the phrase became a way to slight somebody, in reference to how long do you really want to be wrong and stay wrong before finally admitting it.”

MA: “Did he finally admit it? That he was wrong?”

DdaV: “No, he passed without ever admitting his mistake. His head actually exploded* on Intergalactic MuskSee TV when Brady completed a pass to Rob Gronkowski IV in Fluffy knows what Super Bowl, completing a 38-point comeback with no time remaining on the clock; a performance exceeding his 35-point comeback some thirty years prior. Seems Max made it personal and that’s why very little is ever mentioned about his actual career as a sports commentator, which is someone who talks about sports. Seems he knew so much about one sport, boxing, that they just let him talk about other sports and athletes too, even though he evidently knew nothing about them. I mean, he had to know that a 40-year-old who lived right, trained right, ate right, and studied the opposition meticulously could compete to at least the age of 50.”

MA: “You’re describing Tom Brady, right?”

DdaV: “Actually, I was referring to Bernard Hopkins. A boxing champion around so long they were forced to issue him a new nickname because, along with Floyd Mayweather, they wore out their original ones. Max, amazingly knowledgeable in one sport, chose to veer out of his lane, and in his case, into oncoming traffic, namely Patriots Nation. So rather than being remembered for being special in one area, he was berated for being horribly wrong for an insanely long period of time. It was actually one of Albert Einstein’s lesser known theories, (HWxiLPoT)/w=mKellerman². It would later be renamed simply Kellerman.”

MA: “But that’s so mean. That makes the poor man who they let talk into the microphone sound like a maxhead, and that’s sad.”

DdaV: “Uh, actually, maxhead, er, yeah…Well, he brought it about himself. You see, we gave him an opportunity to apologize and admit that he was wrong, but he refused to be honest with himself and to tell the truth, he just kept re-upping. Maria Angelica, if you’re wrong, it’s important to find the courage within yourself to admit your mistake and move forward. We must always be honest to both ourselves and others; always tell the truth.”

MA: “Maybe the poor man who got to speak into the microphone wasn’t given this quality advice as a child, or as a grown-up?”

DdaV: “Could be. Maybe.”

MA: “Multi-Great Grandpapa D, thanks for the history lesson.”

DdaV: “Love You boo.”

Max, we’ll be having our annual end of football season meeting mid-February at The Razor and we will decide how we’re going to treat you going forward. At Patriots Nation, we can be a very unforgiving group. You might want to get your mea culpa in early, and I would hope that we can find it in our collective heart to look the other way, this one time.

This. One. Time.

Most Sincerely,

Dino da Vinci

*Some people, mostly fans or descendants from what was once the New England region, assert their belief that implosion, not explosion, was the actual cause of death. There is, of course, a third possibility, that there was an implosion occurring just as the explosion happened. And while this rarity of all rarities certainly would have been named Kellerman, the @maxkellerman referring to being “amazingly wrong for amazingly long” was already so deeply ingrained in the public’s consciousness, that it would simply be too confusing to add the Kellerman Conclusion (Implosion/Explosion) to the already existing Kellerman Conclusion (that old guys get old…except when they don’t.)

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Skylar Lacy Blocked for Lamar Jackson before Making his Mark in Boxing

Published

3 days ago

January 19, 2025

Arne K. Lang

Skylar-Lacy-Blocked-for-Lamar-Jackson-Before-Making-his-Mark-in-Boxing

Skylar Lacy, a six-foot-seven heavyweight, returns to the ring on Sunday, Feb. 2, opposing Brandon Moore on a card in Flint, Michigan, airing worldwide on DAZN.

As this is being written, the bookmakers hadn’t yet posted a line on the bout, but one couldn’t be accused of false coloring by calling the 10-round contest a 50/50 fight. And if his frustrating history is any guide, Lacy will have another draw appended to his record or come out on the wrong side of a split decision.

This should not be construed as a tip to wager on Moore. “Close fights just don’t seem to go my way,” says the boxer who played alongside future multi-year NFL MVP Lamar Jackson at the University of Louisville.

A 2021 National Golden Gloves champion, Skylar Lacy came up short in his final amateur bout, losing a split decision to future U.S. Olympian Joshua Edwards. His last Team Combat League assignment resulted in another loss by split decision and he was held to a draw in both instances when stepping up in class as a pro. “In my mind, I’m still undefeated,” says Lacy (8-0-2, 6 KOs). “No one has ever kicked my ass.”

Lacy was the B-side in both of those draws, the first coming in a 6-rounder against Top Rank fighter Antonio Mireles on a Top Rank show in Lake Tahoe, Nevada, and the second in an 8-rounder against George Arias, a Lou DiBella fighter on a DiBella-promoted card in Philadelphia.

Lacy had the Mireles fight in hand when he faded in the homestretch. The altitude was a factor. Lake Tahoe, Nevada (officially Stateline) sits 6,225 feet above sea level. The fight with Arias took an opposite tack. Lacy came on strong after a slow start to stave off defeat.

Skylar will be the B-side once again in Michigan. The card’s promoter, former world title challenger Dmitriy Salita, inked Brandon Moore (16-1, 10 KOs) in January. “A capable American heavyweight with charisma, athleticism and skills is rare in today’s day and age. Brandon has got all these ingredients…”, said Salita in the press release announcing the signing. (Salita has an option on Skylar Lacy’s next pro fight in the event that Skylar should win, but the promoter has a larger investment in Moore who was previously signed to Top Rank, a multi-fight deal that evaporated after only one fight.)

Both Lacy and Moore excelled in other sports. The six-foot-six Moore was an outstanding basketball player in high school in Fort Lauderdale and at the NAIA level in college. Lacy was an all-state football lineman in Indiana before going on to the University of Louisville where he started as an offensive guard as a redshirt sophomore, blocking for freshman phenom Lamar Jackson. “Lamar was hard-working and humble,” says Lacy about the player who is now one of the world’s highest-paid professional athletes.

When Lacy committed to Louisville, the head coach was Charlie Strong who went on to become the head coach at the University of Texas. Lacy was never comfortable with Strong’s successor Bobby Petrino and transferred to San Jose State. Having earned his degree in only three years (a BA in communications) he was eligible immediately but never played a down because of injuries.

Returning to Indianapolis where he was raised by his truck dispatcher father, a single parent, Lacy gravitated to Pat McPherson’s IBG (Indy Boxing and Grappling) Gym on the city’s east side where he was the rare college graduate pounding the bags alongside at-risk kids from the city’s poorer neighborhoods.

Lacy built a 12-6 record across his two seasons in Team Combat League while representing the Las Vegas Hustle (2023) and the Boston Butchers (2024).

For the uninitiated, a Team Combat League (TCL) event typically consists of 24 fights, each consisting of one three-minute round. The concept finds no favor with traditionalists, but Lacy is a fan. It’s an incentive for professional boxers to keep in shape between bouts without disturbing their professional record and, notes Lacy, it’s useful in exposing a competitor to different styles.

“It paid the bills and kept me from just sitting around the house,” says Lacy whose 12-6 record was forged against 13 different opponents.

As a sparring partner, Lacy has shared the ring with some of the top heavyweights of his generation, e.g., Tyson Fury, Anthony Joshua and Dillian Whyte. He was one of Fury’s regular sparring partners during the Gypsy King’s trilogy with Deontay Wilder. He worked with Joshua at Derrick James’ gym in Dallas and at Ben Davison’s gym in England, helping Joshua prepare for his date in Saudi Arabia with Francis Ngannou and had previously sparred with Ngannou at the UFC Performance Center in Las Vegas. Skylar names traveling to new places as one of his hobbies and he got to scratch that itch when he joined Whyte’s camp in Portugal.

As to the hardest puncher he ever faced, he has no hesitation: “Ngannou,” he says. “I negotiated a nice price to spend a week in his camp and the first time he hit me I knew I should have asked for more.”

Lacy is confident that having shared the ring with some of the sport’s elite heavyweights will get him over the hump in what will be his first 10-rounder (Brandon Moore has never had to fight beyond eight rounds, having won his three 10-rounders inside the distance). Lacy vs. Moore is the co-feature to Claressa Shields’ homecoming fight with Danielle Perkins. Shields, basking in the favorable reviews accorded the big-screen biopic based on her first Olympic journey (“The Fire Inside”) will attempt to capture a title in yet another weight class at the expense of the 42-year-old Perkins, a former professional basketball player.

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Mizuki Hiruta Dominates in her U.S. Debut and Omar Trinidad Wins Too at Commerce

Published

5 days ago

January 18, 2025

David A. Avila

Mizuki-Hiruta-Dominates-in-her-U.S.-Debut-and-Trinidad-Wins-Too-at-Commerce

Japan’s Mizuki Hiruta smashed through Mexico’s Maribel Ramirez with ease in winning by technical decision and local hero Omar Trinidad continued his assault on the featherweight division on Friday.

Hiruta (7-0, 2 KOs), who prefers to be called “Mimi,” made her American debut with an impressive performance against Mexican veteran Maribel Ramirez (15-11-4) and retained the WBO super flyweight world title by unanimous decision at Commerce Casino in Commerce, Calif.

The pink-haired Japanese southpaw champion quickly proved to be quicker, stronger and even better than advertised. In the opening round Ramirez landed on the floor twice after throwing errant blows. On one instance, it could have been ruled a knockdown but it was not a convincing blow.

In the second round, Ramirez again attacked and again was met with a Hiruta check right hook and down went the Mexican. This time referee Ray Corona gave the eight-count and the fight resumed.

It was Hiruta’s third title defense but this time it was on American soil. She seemed nervous by the prospect of getting a favorable review from the more than 700 fans inside the casino tent.

For more than a year Hiruta has been training off and on with Manny Robles in the L.A. area. Now that she has a visa, she has spent considerable time this year learning the tricks of the trade. They proved explosively effective.

Though Mexico City’s Ramirez has considerable experience against world champions, she discovered that Hiruta was not easy to hit. Often, the Japanese champion would slip and counter with precision.

It was an impressive American debut, though the fight was stopped in the eighth round after a collision of heads. The scores were tallied and all three saw Hiruta the winner by scores of 80-71 twice and 79-72.

“I’m so happy. I could have done much more,” said Hiruta through interpreter Yuriko Miyata. “I wanted to do more things that Manny Robles taught me.”

Trinidad Wins Too

Omar Trinidad (18-0-1, 13 KOs) discovered that challenger Mike Plania (31-5, 18 KOs) has a very good chin and staying power. But over 10 rounds Trinidad proved to be too fast and too busy for the Filipino challenger.

Immediately it was evident that the East L.A. featherweight was too quick and too busy for Plania who preferred a counter-puncher attack that never worked.

“He was strong,” said Trinidad. “He took everything.”

After 10 redundant rounds all three judges scored for Trinidad 100-90 twice and 99-91. He retains the WBC Continental Americas title.

Other Bouts

Ali Akhmedov (23-1, 17 KOs) blasted out Malcolm Jones (17-5-1) in less than two rounds. A dozen punches by Akhmedov forced referee Thomas Taylor to stop the super middleweight fight.

Iyana “Roxy” Verduzco (3-0) bloodied Lindsey Ellis in the first round and continued the speedy assault in the next two rounds. Referee Ray Corona saw enough and stopped the fight in favor of Verduzco at 1:34 of the third round.

Gloria Munguilla (7-1) and Brook Sibrian (5-2) lit up the boxing ring with a nonstop clash for eight rounds in their light flyweight fight. Munguilla proved effective with a slip-and-counter attack. Sibrian adjusted and made the fight closer in the last four rounds but all three judges favored Munguilla.

More Winners

Joshua Anton, Tayden Beltran, Adan Palma, and Alexander Gueche all won their bouts.

Photos credit: Al Applerose

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Avila Perspective, Chap. 309: 360 Promotions Opens with Trinidad, Mizuki and More

Published

6 days ago

January 16, 2025

David A. Avila

Avila Perspective, Chap. 309: 360 Promotions Opens with Trinidad, Mizuki and More

Best wishes to the survivors of the Los Angeles wildfires that took place last week and are still ongoing in small locales.

Most of the heavy damage took place in the western part of L.A. near the ocean due to Santa Ana winds. Another very hot spot was in Altadena just north of the Rose Bowl. It was a horrific tragedy.

Hopefully the worst is over.

Pro boxing returns with 360 Boxing Promotions spotlighting East L.A.’s Omar Trinidad (17-0-1, 13 KOs) defending a regional featherweight title against Mike Plania (31-4, 18 KOs) on Friday, Jan. 17, at the Commerce Casino in Commerce, Calif.

“I’m the king of L.A. boxing and I’ll be ready to put on a show headlining again in the main event. This is my year, I’m ready to challenge and defeat any of the featherweight world champions,” said Trinidad.

UFC Fight Pass will stream the Hollywood Night fight card that includes a female world championship fight and other intriguing match-ups.

Tom Loeffler heads 360 Promotions and once again comes full force with a hot prospect in Trinidad. If you’re not familiar with Loeffler’s history of success, he introduced America to Oleksandr Usyk, Gennady “GGG” Golovkin and the brothers Wladimir and Vitaly Kltischko.

“We’ve got a wealth of international talent and local favorites to kick off our 2025 in grand style,” said Loeffler.

He knows talent.

Trinidad hails from the Boyle Heights area of East L.A. near the Los Angeles riverbed. Several fighters from the past came from that exact area including the first Golden Boy, Art Aragon.

Aragon was a huge gate attraction during the late 1940s until 1960. He was known as a lady’s man and dated several Hollywood starlets in his time. Though he never won a world title he did fight world champions Carmen Basilio, Jimmy Carter and Lauro Salas. He was more or less the king of the Olympic Auditorium and Los Angeles boxing during his career.

Other famous boxers from the Boyle Heights area were notorious gangster Mickey Cohen and former world champion Joey Olivo.

Can Trinidad reach world title status?

Facing Trinidad will be Filipino fighter Plania who’s knocked off a couple of prospects during his career including Joshua “Don’t Blink” Greer and Giovanni Gutierrez. The fighter from General Santos in the Philippines can crack and hold his own in the boxing ring.

It’s a very strong fight card and includes WBO world titlist Mizuki Hiruta of Japan who defends the super flyweight title against Mexican veteran Maribel Ramirez. It’s a tough matchup for Hiruta who makes her American debut. You can’t miss her with that pink hair and she has all the physical tools to make a splash in this country.

Mizukii Hiruta

Two other female bouts are also planned, including light flyweight banger L.A.’s Gloria Munguilla (6-1) against Coachella’s Brook Sibrian (5-1) in a match set for six rounds. Both are talented fighters. Another female fight includes super featherweights Iyana “Right Hook Roxy” Verduzco (2-0) versus Lindsey Ellis (2-1) in another six-rounder. Ellis can crack with all her wins coming via knockout. Verduzco is a multi-national titlist as an amateur.

Others scheduled to perform are Ali Akhmedov, Joshua Anton, Adan Palma and more.

Doors open at 4:30 p.m.

Boxing and the Media

The sport of professional boxing is currently in flux. It’s always in flux but no matter what people may say or write, boxing will survive.

Whether you like Jake Paul or not, he proved boxing has worldwide appeal with monstrous success in his last show. He has media companies looking at the numbers and imagining what they can do with the sport.

Sure, UFC is negotiating a massive billion dollar deal with media companies, as is WWE, both are very similar in that they provide combat entertainment. You don’t need to know the champions because they really don’t matter. Its about the attractions.

Boxing is different. The good champions last and build a following that endures even beyond their careers a la Mike Tyson.

MMA can’t provide that longevity, but it does provide entertainment.

Currently, there is talk of establishing a boxing league again. It’s been done over and over but we shall see if it sticks this time.

Pro boxing is the true warrior’s path and that means a solo adventure. It’s a one-on-one sport and that appeals to people everywhere. It’s the oldest sport that can be traced to prehistoric times. You don’t need classes in Brazilian Jiujitsu, judo, kick boxing or wrestling. Just show up in a boxing gym and they can put you to work.

It’s a poor person’s path that can lead to better things and most importantly discipline.

Photos credit: Lina Baker

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