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Articles of 2008

Money Mania! Mayweather Gets WWE KO Win

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Breath easy, fight fans. Floyd “Money” Mayweather is still undefeated, in the realm of pugilism, and pro wrestling, as he dropped “The Big Show” with some makeshift brass knuckles and scored a KO win a Wrestlemania 24 at the Citrus Bowl in Orlando, Florida on Sunday night.

The Big Show, listed at 7 feet tall, dwarfed Mayweather, at 5-7 plus, and Show, billed as “The Largest Athlete In The World,”  had a monstrous weight advantage (441 pounds to 159) over the visiting pugilist. Floyd used his mobility to avoid contact early in the match, but Show caught him, and got some licks in, before Money stormed back with some stiff punches, and his knockout shot. Mayweather looked comfortable in the world of masculine soap operas, the sports entertainment arena, and the effort looked considerably more credible than some other boxers' entries into the semi-scripted world of pro rasslin.

To start, Mayweather ducked a Show attempt at a lockup, and then another. Money got off some body shots after Show tried to corner the boxer. Money landed a right hand, then another. Floyd took a quick break to drink from a chalice, and show decked Floyd's drink provider. He smacked the provider with a forearm, then dragged him into the ring, and slapped him out just as fast.

Show grabbed Floyd and tried to stamp on his billion dollar hands, but Floyd slithered away quick. Show got him up for a chokeslam but Floyd peppered him with rights, and Show released his hold. Floyd hopped on his back, with a sleeper hold affixed, and Show dropped to his knee. Would Floyd put Show to sleep? Show's face turned crimson, but he managed to yank the little man off him. He then stomped on his left hand, and Floyd reacted like he'd been tasered. Show hurt Floyd with a chest smack, as Leonard Ellerbe protested, “He can't do that! He can't be steppin' on him!” to the deaf ears of the referee, who knew that this match called for no holds barred.

Show drew ooooos with a sideslam, and Floyd looked to be in deep water, with a lead life preserver attached to him. Floyd fought back with some body shots, but Show wouldn't back down. He dropped an elbow on the smaller man, and looked ready to finish the job. But Floyd was yanked out of the ring by his handlers, and they all proceeded to the dressing room.

Not so fast. Show came after them, and dragged Money back to the ring. A Mayweather handler stopped a chokeslam attempt with a chairshot, and got chokeslammed for his trouble. But Floyd grabbed his own chair, and he connected to Show's gut and then his back. But Show stopped a third try, and was ready to roar back, when Floyd caught him with a kick to the groin. Floyd took hold of the chair and slammed it on Show's head, and then repeated the act, twice. He grabbed a gold chain from an underling, wrapped them around his right fist, and punched Show in the jaw. Show was splayed out, on his belly, as the ref counted to ten.

Your winner, by KO, Floyd “Money” Mayweather.

Mayweather's ring entrance proved bountiful for some fans in attendance, as dollar bills dropped from the sky as Floyd strode to the ring. Fans soon found out, though, that the bills were fake, which is probably best, as a riotous scrum was averted. A Mayweather musical concoction blared over the PA as Mayweather, wearing a leather vest/shorts outfit, MMA gloves, and sunglasses, walked to the squared circle. He drew some boos, but many folks were transfixed with the money drizzle coming down from above. Mayweather advisor  Ellerbe was his chief second.

Pre-bout, viewers saw a recap of the Mayweather incursion into the pro wrestling world. Mayweather hopped out of the stands during a Feb. 17 show, and jawed with Big Show in the ring. Show got down on his knees, mocking Mayweather's lack of height, and the boxer answered him with a three punch combo that bloodied Show's mouth and nose. Floyd, after unleashing his lashes, broke a 40-yard dash record as he exited the ring, with Show lumbering after him in pursuit. A no disqualification, no time limit match at Wrestlemania was booked to decide who the better man is.

74,635 people showed up at the arena to take in the show, and sex tape superstar Kim Kardashian announced that number was a record for the building.

*photo courtesy WWE

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